commercial

So there's this commercial that's been bothering me. Maybe you've seen it. Perhaps you haven't had the honor.

Let me describe it to you.

On the couch sits stereotypical uninterested parent, intently watching the football game in perfect privacy and happiness. However, suddenly, in walks stereotypical hopeful-yet-bound-to-be-disappointed young child with a book in his hands and a cutsey grin on his face. He politely asks his dad if he would read to him. But then, in a dramatic turn of events that would make Arthur Miller blush, he notices that his dad is actually watching the football game. The child, hopes dashed and existence deflated, "Oh...football..." The father, desperate to resolve the situation with the least possible creativity, says to his son: "No, {insert name of son], that's okay. I can stop time!!!" He then proceeds to heroically push the pause button on his Tivo thing, making the game freeze in time. The son, who just moments ago was throwing a rope around the shower curtain rod, preparing ot hang himself to ease the misery he has gone through with an uninterested father all of his 5 short years, suddenly is bewildered, amazed, even infatuated by this abrupt turn of events. He giggles in girlish delight, and says to his father, who is now so dumbfounded that his idiotic plan not only made his child forget all about the book but allowed him to continue watching the boob tube, "Do it again!". The father then snaps his fingers and makes the game stop, allows his son to snap and stop the game, and so on and so forth. The book is then shown impailed with blood everywhere.

Ok, so that last sentence was made up. But here's the message I get from the good people at DirecTv (who have a spelling issue as well, apparantly):

DirecTv: Buy our TV thingy! Your kid will be so fascinated, you won't have to read to him anymore! You lazy bastard.

Lazy, selfish bastard.