Cable

I'm too tired to be angry.

But if I wasn't, here's what I would be angry about.

Cable. The cable. Our cable jack is, well, non-existant. And I wanted one so I could watch my Padres and Chargers and Jon "God" Stewart every night so his mahogany-sturdy voice could rock me to sleep.

I called Buildings & Grounds, the motherfuckers who are supposed to take care of this shit. They told me to call Comcast. I wanted to say "IT'S YOUR JOB TO FIX SHIT ON CAMPUS". But I withheld (pretty sure that's how you spell that). Ok. Called Comcast. And then I have this glorious conversation.

Them: Well we've got the 21st from 8-11, 11-1, or 3-6.

I'll let that sit for a while.




Ok, enough time. 3 Hours? They give me a 3 hour fucking time period? What the hell are these people doing that makes it possible for there to be a three hour difference in the times they could possible come? What? I have no idea. Honestly, it is beyond me, and i'm sure many of you as well. I mean, can't you knock it down to 2 hours maybe? Cut the 45-minute Wendy's run maybe? Get a van so you don't have to walk? Find a map so you know where you're going? LEARN HOW TO FIX THE CABLE?????

So of course I chose the 8-11 bracket, because, naturally, i'm in college, i have classes to go to and they don't start until 11.

So, in my infinite wisdom, I got up at 755 to wait for them. This, my friends, was Bad Move #1. It's 10:30 right now. Nobody has showed. Fuck. I just sat up for 2 1/2 hours. On the bright side, I got through 20 more pages of Jane Eyre or as I like to call it, Victorian sissy bullshit. Honestly. She lives in a mean house with a mean stepmom, then goes to school and gets in trouble. That took 70 pages and 2 hours, folks.

Bad Move #2 was calling campus safety. I looked on the school website to see if they had anything to say about comcast. they said that they report to campus safety before they come to the dorm. Great, so I called campus safety and had this glorious conversation:

Me: blablabla Comcast is coming.
Him: So, you should wait.
Me: Fuck you. (No, that was in my head.)
Him: What dorm are you in?
Me: Little. 108.
Him: What dorm?
Me: Little. Not big. Little.
Him: Its your phone. I can't hear you.
Me: Why dont I call Comcast so they can come and fix it?

I was very angry after that. Why? Because I actually believed that Comcast was going to come. And that this sunday I could watch the Chargers. But alas, all I got to watch was the people passing by my window, happy and worry-free because their cable jack exists.

On the bright side, I invented a game. Every time I read the word "indeed" or "ere", down one can of beer. This is the only way I'm going to get through 400 pages of this.

On the other bright side, in the book there is a passage that goes like this:

"So!" someone ejaculated.

Go ahead, laugh, it's okay. It's British!